Breathers: a zombie's lament by S.G. Browne

breather: n. one among the living with the ability to breathe; one who is alive


What if your afterlife happens to be living among the living? Depending on your viewpoint, when that afterlife is becoming a zombie, that may not sound too horrible…you’d think. S.G. Browne’s debut novel, Breathers: a zombie’s lament, gives us one possibility.

Join Andy as he tries to cope and navigate thru his newly acquired lifestyle. He used to be alive with a wife and daughter until one sleepy night a bad turn that leads to a 20-foot launch into a Redwood tree trunk ends that life, only to give him a new one he isn’t sure what to make of, along with ruptured vocal cords and a limp. Two days after he’s reanimated, he’s picked up by the SPCA, who “is working to save more of us [zombies] by soliciting zombie foster homes” among their attempts. His parents begrudgingly come to claim him two days later.

His new life is filled with “happy” days at home with his parents who, wished he would’ve stayed dead, and being confined in the wine cellar, where he’s left to consume wine and television. “I spend a lot of time thinking about death…Maybe I can’t stop thinking about death because it’s on my list of things to do: Take a Pine-Sol bath. Watch Grosse Pointe Blank on TNT. Think about death.” At least he has therapy sessions and support group meetings to break-up the monotony of his home life.

At Undead Anonymous (UA), Andy meets Helen, Carl, Naomi, Tom, Jerry and Rita. The purpose of the group, headed by Helen, is to offer help and guidance in coping with being a zombie. Since the dead don’t always stay down six feet, living society does it’s best to keep them as far down as they can. Besides being denied basic rights, zombies are to abide by what Andy calls “Undead Commandments: You will not disturb the living. You will not be out after curfew. You will not commit necrophilia. You will not covet your neighbor’s flesh…for the most part they’re just a bunch of rules we have to follow in order to coexist with the living.” In addition to this behavior monitoring, zombies are subjected to attacks, physical, audible, and edible. If they find themselves without a human caretaker AND manage to survive the living’s random acts of violence, then they’re distributed for use in crash testing, medical donations, and help with criminal research.

Along the way, the group grows with the additions of Ray, twin brothers Luke and Zack, Beth, Leslie, and Ian (a zombie posing as a breather). Ray becomes almost a role model for Andy, and soon a change seems to come over the group. With inspiration from Ray, Andy reminds the group that zombies are still people, “it’s not like we’re any different than when we died.”

Except for a pulse, for one thing…right?

This book was just a really great read. I only finished it when I got home from work, but I was already raving about it to coworkers. The smart and funny writing, along with the short chapters, make the book hard to put down until you read the end. Breathers, by S.G. Browne, is available in paperback, so no excuse to not find it at your local library or buying a copy at your local bookstore. =) I hope you enjoy reading!